Goals and Good Friends -- Guest Post by Sara VanDenHeuvel

30 Day Mediterranean Lifestyle Challenge

Sara is an adventurer and ASHA's Resource Manager for Multicultural Affairs. She recently completed an incredible climbing expedition in Ecuador and now she's planning to do a 200 mile team relay  in Zion National Park. She blogs about her adventures on Accidental Adventures. I asked Sara to share her experience rallying support from family and friends. 

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Sara at a potluck with friends from her gym

Two years ago, I embarked on a series of slow and steady changes in my diet, my fitness, my lifestyle.  When I started, my goal was simple – lose weight, look better in my swimsuit come summer, find a pair of jeans that looked great.  And don’t get me wrong, I still want most of those things, but in the last two years, the focus on my immediate goal of shedding a few pounds and finding a cute bikini shifted to a focus on health, personal growth, and improvement.  It continues to be a work in progress, an evolution.

After two years, I still struggle sometimes, but what I hope to provide here is some knowledge and insight as to how, through the ups and downs, I stay on track in the big picture.  I lean heavily on my personal goals and good friends to maintain focus and direction, and the two go hand in hand.

I make an effort to set goals that are a little bit scary, a little bit beyond my comfort zone – if the idea gives me goosebumps, I’m usually sold.  If you’re about to make a change in your lifestyle, I think having a goal, a reason for that change, is wise and motivating.  It can be your source of inspiration.  It doesn’t have to be a goal of an insurmountable magnitude, it just has to be important to you.  To me, a goal should be specific, measurable, and motivated by something of personal importance.

So, with goals in mind, good friends are often the sustenance that keeps you going.  As I have made changes over the last two years, I’ve recruited the support of friends and family, because let’s be real – no matter how committed I am to my goals, that piece of apple pie/chocolate shake/donut looks realllllly good, and I’m not infallible.  Sometimes I need a little bit of extra help!  At first, I was hesitant to seek that support and shared my efforts only with my best friend.  She had her reservations initially – my dietary changes meant fewer pizza and ice cream nights for us.  You’re going to encounter this in friends and family – hesitation, even resistance at times.  Change is hard, but if you can coummunicate the significance and importance of your goals and the changes needed to reach them, you’re more likely to meet a positive response than resistance.  “It always helps me to know your goals and why they matter.  As your best friend, I want you to cheat sometimes because it would be fun to eat a bunch of ice cream, but as your best friend, I want you to meet your goals more,” was the summation provided recently.  My goals give direction and power to my commitment and progress, they do the same for the commitment and support of my friends and family.  Recruit the support of someone in your life who can support you, someone who’s on your side when you lose sight of the “why” you’re doing this, someone that can refocus your attention and efforts on your goals.  The responsibility is ultimately yours, but it’s nice to know you have someone in your corner.

As I have made these transitions in the last two years, I have also taken advantage of the friends and family in my life that embrace a similar commitment to health and follow similar dietary and fitness patterns to mine – dinners together, recipe swaps, words of wisdom and encouragement, inspiration and motivation from their commitment and progress, and occasionally the proverbial “kick in the butt” when I need a less-gentle reminder to stay focused.  These people probably exist in your life too, so don’t be afraid to tap that resource – people are generally enthused about sharing their experiences and providing support!

A few friend-related tips I have found helpful:

1. Share your goals – recruit support from friends and family by communicating to them the significance in what you’re doing, why it’s important to you, and what they can do to help.  Be specific in identifying why this change is important and a few things that you might find helpful – “I’m really committed to eating healthy right now because I want to be able to start running two times a week by April 1,” and “Let’s get lunch at the Mediterranean Café next week instead of XXX.  It’s a lot easier for me to make healthy choices there, so it would be really helpful.”

2. Don’t hide from your social circle while you take on these changes - invite friends for dinner at your place and make a delicious and healthy meal!  Recipes abound on the internet and friends are often enthused about positive changes – you’ll recruit more support and might even inspire someone else to make a healthful change!  Not interested in cooking?  Meet out for dinner!  Scope out the menu first so you’re well prepared and know what your options are.

3. Swap recipes - find someone making the same lifestyle changes you are and swap recipes and tips.  New ideas ensure variety and keep the entire experience fun – which makes it a ton easier in my opinion to make this a true lifestyle shift, not just a challenge in the short-term!

4. Encourage someone else - with such a great program launching, many people will be embracing healthy changes.  Providing support and encouragement to others and showing enthusiasm for the efforts of a friend reminds me of my commitment to my goals.  It keeps me inspired.

5. Celebrate your progress – if your goal is to run three miles, celebrate with friends as you progress.  Identify milestones – running without stopping, running a mile, running two miles.  Celebrate your commitment, your efforts, and your progress with friends and family who are committed to your success!

Find a goal, find a friend, and get excited about the great changes you’re about to make in your life!

Should you share your wellness goals?

You've probably read about how the people in your social circle influence your health and weight. The concept was explored in one of my favorite books, Connected, and I recently read this post -- How Friends Can Make You Fat (Study: Shared social behaviors, not shared social norms, are more likely to spread obesity among friends.) If you believe the underlying concepts -- and I do -- it stands to reason that sharing a wellness goal and rallying some support from your circle of family and friends would increase your chances of reaching your goal. It's this community concept that is the underpinning for my strong belief in the value of workplace wellness programs. 

Terry Harris, our Learning Facilitator at ASHA, recently developed and led a goal setting workshop to help the staff members competing for our trip to St. Thomas hone their goals. While putting together the workshop, Terry ran across some research that suggests announcing your plans takes away some of your motivation to accomplish your goal. Derek Sivers articulates this clearly in his TED Talk. 



Evidently some people feel that sharing our plans can make us feel that we've already done the hard work and give us a sense of completeness, fulfillment and achievement. These feelings can drive our motivation down. 


In another of my favorite books, Switch, Chip and Dan Heath talk about the importance of "shrinking the change." After describing two studies, they conclude that "One way to motivate action, is to make people feel as though they're already closer to the finish line than they might have thought." If this is true, no harm should come from people thinking they're on their way to making a desired change. It's always interesting to look at things from another perspective, however. What has your experience been? 

9 Lessons for Longevity from The Blue Zones

In The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who've Lived the Longest, National Geographic explorer Dan Buettner visits four places where people are living the longest, healthiest lives anywhere on the planet -- Sardinia, Italy; Okinawa, Japan; Loma Linda, California and Nicoya, Costa Rica. The book is an engaging easy read filled with so many good stories and ideas, I wanted to take notes, so I thought I'd share them with you here. 

Here are nine tips that could help you lead a long and healthy life:

1) Move. People that live the longest are physically active much of most days. Most don't run or go to the gym, but they engage in low-intensity activities like walking and gardening as part of their daily work. The time outside also allows people to get a steady dose of vitamin D from the sunshine. It was interesting that they pointed out that Okinawans sit on the floor and probably strengthen their legs just by getting up and down throughout the day.

2) Hara Hachi Bu - eat until you are 80% full. This comes from the Okinawans, stopping when you are no longer hungry, but not quite full is a good way to avoid overeating. Eat your biggest meals at breakfast and lunch. Nicoyans, Okinawans and Sardinians all eat their big meal at midday. Loma Lindans eat their big meal for breakfast. Without exception, the people that live the longest maintain a healthy weight over the course of their lives.

3) Eat whole, unprocessed foods and a mostly vegetarian diet. The cornerstones of a longevity diet are beans, whole grains and vegetables. Pork was eaten in three of the four Blue Zones, but it was only consumed three or four times per month. Seventh-day Adventists consume nuts daily and they have been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease and have other health benefits. People in all four Blue Zones maintained gardens growing their own fruits and vegetables.

4) Say Cheers. In Sardinia they drink red wine. In Okinawa, it's sake. Consistency and moderation seem to be the key. The other beverages consumed by centenarians seemed to be limited to water, coffee and tea.

5) Live with a strong sense of purpose. The people that live the longest have a reason to wake up in the morning. They enjoy caring for their families, engage in work they find meaningful or volunteer.

6) Slow down and de-stress. People in each of the Blue Zones take time to appreciate family, friends and their surroundings. I was at a conference recently where one of the speakers suggested that we should all try to be calm, confident, patient and present. Centenarians seem to have mastered this. They also have close relationships with friends and neighbors and visit almost daily. Oh, and I almost forgot, get enough sleep -- 7 to 9 hours each night.

7) Practice your religion. All the centenarians interviewed seem to have faith. Studies show that attending religious ceremonies even just once a month increases you life expectancy.

8) Put your family first. The people that live the longest marry, have children, and build their lives around that family core. Their lifelong devotion pays dividends as they get older and their children reciprocate their love and care. In three of the four Blue Zones, the younger generation welcomes the older generation into their homes.

9) Surround yourself with those that share these values. Social connectedness is ingrained into the world's Blue Zones. In the book Connected by scientists Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, they present compelling evidence for our profound influence on one another's tastes, health, wealth, happiness, beliefs, even weight, as they explain how social networks form and how they operate.

There is a corresponding website that allows you to calculate how long you're likely to live given you current habits using a tool called the Vitality Compass. It didn't take long to complete and it's kind of fun to see the results. Here's mine.  

The Danish Twin Studies established that less than 25% of how long the average person lives is dictated by genes. In other words, most of how long and how well we live is up to us. Choose wisely!